If you are a recent college grad or in your 20’s then you know that Quarter-life crises are very much a real thing. I feel like I have one almost one or two every single day, which is not healthy at all. However, I have learned a lot along the way from my early 20’s and now to my mid 20’s.
I wanted to talk about this because It would have been nice to have someone to talk about this myself and because I am a child of the internet and find that the internet is a place to connect with people from various walks of life and connect with them.
A lot of these tips can also be applied to people who are graduating high school. Share in the comments something that you have learned in YOUR 20’s. Or just advice that you wished you would have known sooner.
NO ONE HAS LIFE FIGURED OUT
When I was younger, I just thought that by the time I was an adult I would know what I was doing. I would be successful and happy and have all of these great things come to me and my life has been great.
However, there are moments where my world has been rocked. Moments where I questioned myself and questioned everything, but a thing or two about life is that no one has life figured out and when you feel like you have a good drip of life something happens and it makes us feel terrible.
Just know that it’s not just you, it’s everyone. The only way to get through this is to get through it and learn to pick yourself up again and try again, it’s the only way.
So when that career path that you thought would be your dream job and you get there and it turns out it sucks and you hate it, then choose a different career path, it’s never “too late to start.”
EVERYONE’S LIFE PATH LOOKS DIFFERENT
When you get to the stage of your mid 20’s many of your friends might be getting married or having kids, others might be focused on their careers. When a friend of mine went back to school for the master’s program after graduating and getting her B.A. I questioned If I should be going back to school myself.
I’m sure many people in their 20s have questioned if they should have kids because their peers are having kids.
However, the reality is we are all on different paths and we shouldn’t compare our life path to others for that reason.
Someone’s goal might be to start a family and others might be to travel full-time before starting a family. So don’t focus on what others are doing, focus on your own path.
IT’S OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND
One of the biggest struggles that I had was when I graduated college I had studied History and I wanted to be a History Teacher, but when I graduated not only had school taken a toll on my mental health, but I didn’t feel like that was my life path anymore, I didn’t feel passionate about being in a classroom and teaching.
It was hard to come to that realization because I had worked so hard to get my degree in school and my parents were pressuring me to try it out for longer and I just knew myself too well and knew that I would regret it If I went through something I wasn’t passionate about.
I started to take courses from marketing classes to early childhood education classes, photography, real estate, and I started my blog around this time and found that I loved it. I love creating content, I love learning new skills, I loved doing things on my own because I found a drive in it.
So if you graduate school or if you didn’t go to school and you want to do something completely different from what you were doing before, then do that and see how great it feels to rearrange your life and take control of your life when things don’t work out.
MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT
Not everyone goes through the same struggle to make friendships when they are older, but I did. When you are no longer in school you might make friendships with coworkers or you might make friends when you join clubs, etc.
When you are older you also evaluate your friendships and if they make you happy or not. For Instance, not just with friendships but with any relationship. If I don’t feel happy and excited to hang out with that person anymore then they are no longer part of my life. I’ve had family members that are not good people and I just felt drained or even in a crabby mood after hanging out with them and as an adult, I’ve made that choice for myself to distance myself from them and it’s the best thing that I have done for my mental health.
It can be hard to remove people like family members because you are forced to see them at family events, but make the choice that is going to make you feel better.
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
I know that it can seem a lifetime away when it comes to retirement or saving money, but these things are important for your overall well-being. If you don’t follow Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps, I have been following his baby steps for about 3-4 years roughly and it’s a great way to think about your finances.
They can seem intimidating, especially if no one thought you about personal finance when you were growing up. There are so many great free resources like books, podcasts, videos, and articles to learn more about finances.
COURAGE & PERSEVERANCE ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN EXPERIENCE
The hardest part about graduating from school is not having a job lined up right away and also how entry-level positions require like 10+ years of experience (okay maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you know what I mean) many people, including myself, are forced to move back home because these are tough times.
There are so many people now that are making a mark and doing jobs that didn’t even exist 5 or even 10 years ago and I think that is awesome because making money can be various things from working online or even fixing furniture.
SAYING “NO” IS A FULL SENTENCE
Maybe this has to do with the fact that I am a people pleaser and learning to say no, is okay. When you start to spread yourself thin because you say yes to everything and it starts to affect your own mental health or your personal goals and happiness. Then you have to say no.
Is there something you don’t care to do but you do it anyway to please others? Just say no. I know that it can be hard specially for someone that likes to please others, but if you are doing it at the expense of yourself then don’t do it.
DON’T FOCUS TOO MUCH IN THE FUTURE AND DON’T DWELL IN THE PAST
I got this tattoo that says, “this too shall pass” and one of the biggest reasons was because I would spend hours daydreaming of the “what if” what if I liked somewhere else, what would my life look like today, what if I majored in something different, what if I didn’t waste money when I was 21. Living in the past and daydreaming about the what-if meant that I couldn’t enjoy it right now and I got that tattoo to remind me of this moment, the present. I won’t get it back so instead of living in the past I should focus on this moment right now and being a better person right now.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY
You start to realize pretty quickly that you are getting older when you no longer have the same energy you did when you were a kid or in high school. Take care of your physical health by getting some workouts in, you might try yoga, pilates, or even a sport that you enjoyed when you were younger. Take care of your skin by washing your makeup off and moisturizing and putting sunscreen on.
Focus on your mental health by talking with friends, family, and therapists about what is bothering you. I’m glad there is no longer a bad stigma about getting therapy like it would have been a couple of years ago. Take advantage of these services to better yourself.
That was it, those were the 9 tips that I would have to focus on. I am a firm believer that these tips can be applied to almost any stage of our lives, but they are very prominent around your 20’s.
Let me know in the comments what is advice you wish you could give your younger self or even what advice you felt life hit home or what advice you have found useful.
Take care lovelies xo
